Error.: I will love you as a drawer loves a secret... →
decarnate: I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp, and as a gasping person loves a glass of brandy to calm their nerves, and as a glass of brandy loves to shatter on the floor, and as the noise of glass…
If you don’t drink, then all of your stories suck and end with, “And then I got...– Jim Jefferies (via littlebitsoficexo)
i can't wait to get married
fuckyeahlaughters: i’m gonna walk down the aisle like and i’ll be all like my future hubby is gonna be standing there waiting for me like we’re gonna say our vows, and be all like then we’re gonna go to the reception and party then go to our hotel room and bang then live happily every after but for now, I’ll be on Tumblr made me giiggle
Susan: Does owning this magazine, make you a better person??
Susan: Did this magazine make you more popular at school??
Rodrick: YES!!!... no.
Susan: How do you feel about having owned this type of magazine??
Susan: Do you have anything you wanna say, to women, for having owned this offensive magazine??
Rodrick: I'm sorry, women.
Diary of a Wimpy Kid
That moment when you're running late and you can't...
the meaning of life is to give life meaning.” - Ken Hudgins